Selling and purchasing property is a serious business. Choose an Estate Agent offering a professional, honest, friendly and personal service ideally by recommendation. Don't always believe the testimonials you read in some Estate windows and websites. Choose an Estate Agent providing a trusted, quality service and one experienced in Property Sales. A good Estate Agent will help your move to be as stress free as possible.

We take note of what Vendors and Purchasers tell us regarding their experience using the service of Estate Agents - the profession in the UK that we love to hate!  Everyone (or most of us - some other Estate Agents excepted) enjoy a little humour, so this page is dedicated to what you tell us about your experience with other Estate Agents including the small guys and the big guys!

Unbelievable? Read on ........

Added 14th May 2008. Comment from the director of a large firm of Estate Agents with xxx offices - I think your Estate Agent's humour page is ageist and not funny and we may report you to Trading Standards if you continue to mention our firm with xxx offices! 

This is a very old Estate Agent joke - going back to a previous property slump. Anyway get ready for this classic gem -
Why don't Estate Agents look out of their windows in the morning? Answer - because they would have nothing to do in the afternoon!

According to the front page of The Daily Telegraph (May 2008)  Estate Agents are going out of business currently at the rate of 150 branches a week. On the other hand, most towns and cities in the UK are graced by a huge number of competing charity shops. We are obviously a very charitable nation so please give generously to any office-less Estate Agents you may encounter selling back editions of the Big Issue or discover sleeping in old vicarages, bus shelters and under bridges. How about in today's economic climate a dedicated Estate Agent charity to provide soup kitchens and the provision of one man tents from Asda currently advertised at £7.99. A suggested name for the charity could be "The Benevolent Society for fallen Estate Agents".

This one is a real corker. Prize of a £5 bottle of Woolworths Champagne goes to our informer, a local building contractor! The young lady negotiator arrived with prospective purchasers to look over a brand new bungalow in Bere Regis. After spending a short time showing them around she looked at her watch and said "Must dash - must not miss an appointment to have my nails done! The contractor was then left with the bemused buyers only to spend the next hour continuing the viewing and answering questions.

The latest Agent to open in xxx has just announced the closure of their letting Department. They've only been there 5 minutes so the market either changed or they got their sums wrong. Just goes to show, when the going gets tough the staff either get moved or they get made redundant.

I would welcome the opportunity of going into the offices of both xxx and xxx and telling them Osbornes have sold my property and blowing raspberries at them!

I was waiting at a property for the Estate Agent to show me over. A young negotiator from another Agency turned up in an expensive £30,0000 car and told me he had a property for sale in the same road. He stood with the keys jangling in his hand and said "What type of property are you looking for Dude? I replied "please don't call me Dude!"

Advice from a Big Agent. "Don't go to a Small Agent because you won't get the service!"

The young negotiator arrived in our quiet close with his car stereo blaring so everyone was aware of his arrival. (Vendor from Sandford)

The young negotiator was wearing a suit which was far to big for him! (Vendor from Wareham).

The Estate Agent walked straight into the flat, took a quick look around, announced how much he thought it was worth and walked straight out again. (Vendor from Wareham)

The young negotiator sat in the chair, one leg on top of the other, sat right back and proceeded to discuss the sale of the property. (Vendor from Wareham)

They gave me a questionnaire to fill in after my sale completed. I'm afraid I did not give them a very good report (Bere Regis vendor).

"You won't be sending someone around to value my house in a marked car will you?"

The Estate Agents Office is full of young kiddies. (Vendor from Poole referring to an agent in the area boasting xxx number of offices)

Cheeky mailshot of the year from an agent in the area boasting xxx number of offices: 
Dear Mr XXX
We note that you are currently marketing your property through xxx Estate Agents ..... We would be delighted to discuss with you the sale of your existing property. Brightmove.co.uk reply - blatant touting is unethical and highly unprofessional. Comment from another local agent "Touting letters from a certain Agent are passed on to us all the time by our Sellers. I visit their office, dump the letters on their desk saying "Don't do it again, knowing full well they will!"

May 2008. The latest in touting letters! Are solicitors allowed to tout other solicitors business? Why do certain Estate Agents engage in this practice? Is it because other Agents do it to them? Are they on a mission to inform Vendors that actually their service is the best since Richard Branson was born? Whatever the reason which could not possibly be money here is the latest received from a small agent this time:

Please excuse my direct approach, but I see your home is on the market and would like to offer my assistance should you require it at this period in time. We offer a fully comprehensive service as listed on the adjoining page and I would like to stress the point that I am a local person, schooled in Wareham and with intimate local knowledge which purchasers find invaluable. I notice you are with xxx Estate Agents whom I feel are not giving you the comprehensive and professional service that your property deserves, as the office is closed a considerable amount of the time and changes staff almost monthly, unlike my staff who are all local people and have been with me for some eight years or more.

DODGY AGENTS DO EXIST. Here are some dodgy Estate Agents tricks:

Value the house low to get a quick commission or even to sell to a friend for a backhander.

Value the house high to get you to sign on the dotted line. Then contact you 2 weeks later to suggest that you reduce the price as their value was a little optimistic.

THOUGHT FOR THE DAY. If you have double glazing installed, the window company must belong to the regulatory body FENSA.

If you request Mortgage advice the advisor must be registered with the Financial Services Authority.

If you need to have your teeth out your dentist will be registered with the General Dental Council.

As at 14th May, 2008, the Regulatory Body for Estate Agents is the Office of Fair Trading Ombudsman Scheme for Estate Agents. There are two levels of membership and currently only HIPs level of membership is compulsory. If you sell your house (your most valuable asset) your UK Estate Agent does not presently need to belong to any regulatory body unless they offer HIPs packs. All Agents should be willing to be full members of the Office of Fair Trading and to subscribe to the OFT Code of Conduct. If they do not, do not be afraid to question them! Selling your home does carry a government Health Warning and you are recommended to visit the relevant OFT web page on this subject.